Sunday, December 20, 2009

Deathnoobs.

I don't do normal quests. They involve effort. Effort is not fun. Fun is watching what happens to penguins when I set them on fire.

Now let me explain this a bit further. I am not a nutbar. I just like to kill penguins. There is nothing wrong with having a daily routine. It helps balance me out. Ask yourself this, "Would I kill a few penguins in order to stop myself from being a bastard all day?". Of course.

So everyday, I push through the tarpit of retards that comprises the Argent Crusade grounds to make my way to a little known stop high up in the mountains. I say hello to the penguins. Before I douse them all in fire. It's my thing.

SO you can imagine how pissed I was when some Draenai (read: Alien) Deathknight (read: takes it in the ass) came along and killed all my penguins. In front of me. With his PVP turned on.

Killing him didn't bring back the penguins. Teabagging him after didn't help either. Eating his corpse did.


Of the many things you can do in this game, by far the best is finding all the wildlife you can and seeing what noise it makes when you start battering it's face open. So if you are free from raiding, or just plain bored, then start killing animals ingame. There is even an ingame PETA. They disagreed with my notion of conservation being "If we kill them all down to say, ONE penguin, it's much easier to conserve it".

They're all on fire now anyway, so I disregarded their objections. You can't really make a point to someone that can kill your ass in seconds.

So getting back to this Deathtard. After I kill him, I get a whisper from some unknown dude. "Why u kill meh >.<" Getting around his abuse of english, I quickly answered with "You killed my penguins. Not cool bro."

You'd think that this would put an end to it. Death knights are persistant. Not in the good way. In the "let's keep drilling and see what we find" way. So he goes "omfg ur nabb, gt lf", roughly translated as "Oh my fucking god, get a life you noob". Now, there are lovely things about PVP. One of them is that you have the ability to spy on the enemy. Create a lvl 1 character of the opposition, add a name to the friends list and bingo. You get their location.

I've been in Sholozar basin for and hour now. I've gotten 19 kills and haven't touched any of the animals there yet. I've also gotten death threats. But I've also gotten a longer range than you do. Eat my lazer. EAT IT.