Sunday, December 4, 2011

High Tech Dolphin. Not really though. Warlock blood snorkling.

Warlocks are getting a new item designed specifically for off-hand use, known as "mage". With "mage" a warlock can eat mana biscuits, afk during wipes, blink targets into lavapits and gain spells once lost and given to other classes.

There are a few different types of "mages" a warlock can equip, depending on how many warriors he's kiting at any one time.

The "frost mage" off-hand for instance, roots Azeroth to the spot and allows the Warlock to roam freely, while everything else sits there, waiting to die from 45k iceshadow lancebolts. It also replaces the Voidwalker with a snowman.

The "fire mage" off-hand allows the Warlock to daze any target anywhere, regardless of range. It also allows the Warlock to launch a "medicine bomb" at the target, knocking it off it's feat indefinately. Only a full account reset can debuff this.

The third off-hand option "arcane mage" allows the Warlock to bend time itself, whilst at the same time flying through the air, nuking targets for 150k damage per shot.

The Warlock can always "cannabilize" the mage for instant mana and qq tears.

Finally, the Warlock gains a new power called "fuck you loladin" which automatically places a "Warrior" debuff on a Paladin. This debuff lasts for every bit of overhealing the Paladin does. The debuff lowers the Paladins intellect by 6000 and prevents any and all forms of action until the warrior is killed/ removed from the Paladin's back.

More news as Mists of Pandaria is unveiled!

Saturday, December 3, 2011

You're awesome.

Death knights ruin everything. They're like puberty. Painful. Both emotionally and physically . Like, they play a class, but don't know why. They don't know how. They run home from school to log into the game and plague the living fuck out of normal players.

But it aint just them. It seems like it's almost damn near everybody now.

For example. In a heroic, the tank, a meh Belf warrior exclaims "if you fail i kik". He was already pretty pissed off with the priests suggestion that he doesn't move for the encounter. That priest was right. Because the boss is a dragon. And moving a dragon is sometimes a stupid experiment. Tail whip. All fucking day.

So, about 15 seconds in he dies to AOE. Complains that it is the healers fault. But he intentionally stood in fire/ lava, to demonstrate a point to the healer that sometimes moving is a good thing. Why not just fucking move instead of screwing up the encounter.

See, that's what I don't get with some people pugging. They make it a personal thing. They're out to proove to the world that they are not stupid and expect good things from everyone else. But at the same time they are fucking sandmunching idiots.

The only reason why this is happening is because those clever devs have figured out how to make every single aspect of the game more accessible. But as for the ones that are not? They are left in shambles. Ruined. Look at Arena. In it's current incarnation, its a broken and dying thing and needs a heart trasnplant. It's mainly to do with class imbalance.

Now, everyone seems to be under the illusion that the horrid advantages some classes have over others will go away, because the devs are saying that everything is being "revamped". But they won't be revamped. It'll be a bastardised version of the current system, complete with a new set of obvious flaws. I fair can't wait to stop playing my warlock again.

Friday, December 2, 2011


Apparently I have a twitter now.


I'll be doing updates and crap soon.

Raise Dead.

So I'm back. Malcontent is once again set loose upon the cavalcade of moron and sea of idiot that is World of Warcraft. With the release of patch 4.3, Hour of Twighlight, we have three new dungeons to play with. This is a mini post, since I don't have an amazing amount of time free at the moment. I'll throw up some experiences of fail in these new graveyards soon enough.

Saturday, April 30, 2011

Precursor to failure.

So it turns out that WoTLK taught a lot of people how to suck more than limpets. I mean not normal level of suck, but metaphysical suck.

Way back in the grindfest that was known as Wrath, people could do heroic level content in about 10 - 15 minutes. Usually consisted of me picking up every single thing in the instance and all of the DPS burning it down with overpowered AOE. Seriously you just pressed the Delete key to auto run and tagged the instance to victory. It was that simple. The boss damage was laughable. Even now that content is a a joke, with emblem geared tanks storming through it at the same HP levels raid geared tanks were at at the time.

Even the penguins could feel the change.

Even in Wrath the dungeons are disgustingly easy. That still isn't going to stop the DK retards from fucking everything up with mortal stupidity.

Right now my tank is level 85. He is not geared enough with tank gear to do heroics. He has plenty of DPS gear though. But I'm still not going to be doing heroics until I'm happy with his gear level as a tank. This is fair. It aint fucking fair when failtanks cheat the ilvl system by donning cloth gear to get into dungeons, just because its higher item level then their tank gear. This isn't Wrath. There is a reason why you are getting battered to death in seconds. I should have what I need to tank them within a week I'd say.

Friday, March 4, 2011

The war of attrition.

I think it is very important for me to change the direction of this derelict page. Recently, I rolled a warrior tank. Wrath did not really give me that much chance to see just how bad some players are, given the fact that you could completely ignore skill and zerg every single heroic within 15 minutes.

I believe that a lot of players are corrupt. They are infected with moral perversion. This blog henceforth will attempt to explore the inherent inhumanity some players display when hitching a ride with a good tank.

From now on, I will tank as many pugs as I can, along with detailed reports of all the players reactions and actions. I will instigate revolt at points where I feel I have no other option. I will call out bad players and make examples of them with logical observations to the best of my intellect. Hopefully I can get a better picture of how the brain of an m&s player functions and how the game society further compounds it's deviance. If you want to know more about m&s players, check out

If you threaten an institution the reaction will usually be self preservation. It's the same thing with any monetory system employed by industry IRL. The system is different to an aspect within WOW though, where I honestly believe it does serve the group’s overall effort rather than serving the the secularist player. Self interest in free competition is said to lead to social prosperity, as the act of competition is an incentive itself that can lead to further personal gain.

We shall see Azeroth. We shall see.

Sunday, December 20, 2009


I don't do normal quests. They involve effort. Effort is not fun. Fun is watching what happens to penguins when I set them on fire.

Now let me explain this a bit further. I am not a nutbar. I just like to kill penguins. There is nothing wrong with having a daily routine. It helps balance me out. Ask yourself this, "Would I kill a few penguins in order to stop myself from being a bastard all day?". Of course.

So everyday, I push through the tarpit of retards that comprises the Argent Crusade grounds to make my way to a little known stop high up in the mountains. I say hello to the penguins. Before I douse them all in fire. It's my thing.

SO you can imagine how pissed I was when some Draenai (read: Alien) Deathknight (read: takes it in the ass) came along and killed all my penguins. In front of me. With his PVP turned on.

Killing him didn't bring back the penguins. Teabagging him after didn't help either. Eating his corpse did.

Of the many things you can do in this game, by far the best is finding all the wildlife you can and seeing what noise it makes when you start battering it's face open. So if you are free from raiding, or just plain bored, then start killing animals ingame. There is even an ingame PETA. They disagreed with my notion of conservation being "If we kill them all down to say, ONE penguin, it's much easier to conserve it".

They're all on fire now anyway, so I disregarded their objections. You can't really make a point to someone that can kill your ass in seconds.

So getting back to this Deathtard. After I kill him, I get a whisper from some unknown dude. "Why u kill meh >.<" Getting around his abuse of english, I quickly answered with "You killed my penguins. Not cool bro."

You'd think that this would put an end to it. Death knights are persistant. Not in the good way. In the "let's keep drilling and see what we find" way. So he goes "omfg ur nabb, gt lf", roughly translated as "Oh my fucking god, get a life you noob". Now, there are lovely things about PVP. One of them is that you have the ability to spy on the enemy. Create a lvl 1 character of the opposition, add a name to the friends list and bingo. You get their location.

I've been in Sholozar basin for and hour now. I've gotten 19 kills and haven't touched any of the animals there yet. I've also gotten death threats. But I've also gotten a longer range than you do. Eat my lazer. EAT IT.